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Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

on June 24th 2010, 7:03 pm
Alright; I wrote this on a different RP site -Naruto RP Site- xD (All I seem to do lately) And I figured it might make a good fanfic. I also wouldn't mind someone telling me if I've improved in writing skills since I joined this site and RP in general ^^ (Basically directed at anyone who's seen me RP a while back, and lately ^^) Warning: This is fairly long (Almost 5000 Words-So still relatively short) ^^
Lightning Country Observations

If nothing more the Lightning Country was beautiful; lustrous skies of light blue with perfect cumulous clouds rolling across the vast ocean of the sky. The cobblestone paths leading to some of the outer houses in the country were set prettily and were cleaned in perfection; the deeper into the Lightning Country one traveled they would notice a congestion of houses and population; all remained to be beautifully clean and even the puddles on the ground from a previous storm that left the very skies colored nicely and the air smell of fresh moisture. When stepped upon one could watch the puddles ripple slowly as in a trance watching the very essence of life show itself in the ripple effect of life and decisions. Never was one to say that the Lightning Country was in bad condition; and if they did it was for purpose of not adventuring deep enough into the country.

The Akatsuki member crouched atop the tallest building in Lightning Country; glancing down among the multitudes of towns people who looked smaller then reality from the Ninja’s point of view. The Male’s cloak billowed around him from the wind, revealing a white t-shirt and black pants, the male’s eyes flickered a moment before changing to a liquid golden colour. . The far ground zoomed in to his view and he spotted a few apparent ninja eating Ramen in an outside restaurant, some children ran through a crowd of people, a pair of older males were playing a board game, a group of small girls were chattering delightfully amongst themselves, and through a crowd of people a Ninja was running full tilt with something tucked beneath his arm. The Golden-Eyed Male was about to follow them to deem more information when he heard an extremely loud yell from a shop-keep echo across the streets; ”Get back here you Thief!!!! PAY FOR THAT MEAL YOU BRAT!!!!”

From atop the building Ren sighed, Nothing more then a simple boxed meal… Though that is interesting to know that there are some in this country who can not even afford a box meal; even those of the Ninja path… Which is surprising due to the usual presence of missions… He glanced down a separate street by moving his crouched position slightly, and quickly noted a variety of four people huddled in a group close to a dark alleyway; apparently deep in conversation about something before they began to run down the alleyway. At this Ren smiled; the country side was alight with bright sun and the roofs were in clean clear condition, but now the Jounin had something to do as he leapt from the building and landed on a slightly lower building next to it.

Running along the rooftops he quickly reached the alleyway; where the ninja were slowly advancing around a corner. From Ren’s point of view he could see a single ninja in a dead end; facing the alleyway; the four ninja slowly advanced and turned the corner, and all four jumped at the sight of the other ninja but continued their slow advance towards him. The Akatsuki member watching them noted everything that was happening, and took out a small journal; and began to write rapidly in it, covering the events before his eyes.

The Four Ninja, now known in the Journal; as the observing ninja had quickly scrawled into it; only as
“Fred, George, Paige, and Samantha”
The four walked to the man and held out a small container that was clasped by a four pin lock; this was quickly noted in the journal. The Male opposing the four ninja accepted the box and bowed ever so slightly;
”In apparent mocking manner”
Fully standing once more the Male pulled from behind him four headbands, and with the Etherias Eye’s the Ninja observing noted that each Headband held the symbols for a different major nation;
For the Mist Headband there is an apparent scratch about the left side, and it is dirtied close to the metallic piece. The Leaf Headband is in near perfection; minus a blood stain smudged across the leaf symbol, dulling the metal. The Headband of the Sand was dripping wet and seems to have mud stains on the ends of the green fabric. The Cloud ‘Band seems to have been dug up from deep within the ground; it has apparent scratches all over it similar to that of rocks being hit against it, and there is a large scratch plainly going across the metal piece.

The entries into the Journal were quick and precise, and not missing his chance the Observer leapt silently to the roof closest the five beings and glanced down upon them; now picking up bits of their conversation.
The one I named “Paige” appears to be trying to reason with Smugg; a tidbit of information here includes that her body language seems to be hostile towards the other three in her group, and is hanging off Smugg’s arm in practicality. She’s saying, “-But I don’t understand the need to do that…” and Smugg whispers something back into her ear and she’s giggling…

Observing very carefully now Renzenku glanced at the three who were slightly away from the other two now; all three were shuffling their feet and had their hands on their Kunai, one had his hand on an explosive tag.
Hostility is ample in the air among these five. I am getting an air of importance among this group however; and I shall continue observing this group…

Beneath the Jounin the group was beginning to argue;
Smugg is waving the box around like it’s important; but holds little value at the same time. He’s almost yelling now, “I am the leader of this group! And as such I will deem how I use this anyway I wish!” The other three are seemingly backing down now, but I can distinctly tell they are preparing to fight the man I deemed “Smugg”…
Ren shifted his position slightly and sighed slightly; I’m here for a family request… Just must remember that….

The three now crouched low and removed their weapons; all three launching an attack at the male, Smugg.
The female “Paige” is now yelling at the others to not touch their leader, and she’s repeating herself now, getting quite frantic about it… She’s now used the term “Don’t touch my beau” and the others faltered. The male named Smugg ducked low and clutched the box to his chest while removing a Sickle from his belt; swinging at the male named “Fred”. “Fred dodged the blow and slashed upwards with his kunai, and caught the box…

Smugg’s grasp on the box was apparently weak as it flew into the air; the clasp broken and a vial of liquid dropped from within.
The idiot, Smugg, had weak grip and the box is air born, and a vial has slipped from within the…Velvet…lined box; the liquid inside the vial appears to be pinkish purple and slightly plasma-like. Smugg is yelling now, and “Paige” is screaming; also “Samantha” appears to be diving for the vial of fluid.

The vial shattered against the ground and the plasma-like liquid spewed across the ground; giving the ground a glittering like pink colour where the contents of the vial had landed. The yell that emitted from “Smugg” was immense and must have traveled across a few streets; “MY MOJO! NO!” Ren instantly stood straight and sighed, turning to run back to the tall building he raised the Journal closer to his chest and pressed the writing utensil into the paper;

The Akatsuki member ran back to the tall building and ran up it; a few looks from citizen’s glancing at the tower like building made Ren shrug and show off slightly. When the Jounin had neared the top he realized that simply walking through the city would probably improve his success rate of this “mission”. Turning back down he ran until he alighted upon the ground once more, and began walking through the Country fully focused on details.

A small fly passed by a sign off to his right, and Ren looked at it inquisitively before turning away and walking more, and by the half hour mark he had found nothing much of interest; though he was not finished yet he took a small break for food.

While sipping at some Chocolaty liquid he looked down at how much of the Journal had been filled, and it seemed to be about 25 pages as it was, and that was mostly because some of the smaller things were noted as well. Many things were written in the 25 pages that were already written; and everything Ren had noted had some significance to what was happening in the Lightning Country. Except perhaps the shorter; more vague entries relating the the small scenic differences in where he was in the Lightning Country and what he had seen as such. The writing within the beautifully bound Journal was almost as appealing to the eye as the writing within the covers; the two red leather sides of the Journal, on one side "Journal" was engraved in a beautiful, swooping, golden handwriting, and on the opposite side it was blank save the creases that came naturally to true leather. The Ninja flipped to the very first page of the Journal; which had his name scrawled across the respective line, and the inside of the cover which had "The Report To The Raikage" written in small block letters along the bottom of it. Naturally, Ren had good observational skills and quickly noted that he was a little less descriptive then he wished to be in some of his entries as he re-read the entirety of what he had already written.

It seems that the Lightning Country is in general disarray; while displaying definite organization and skills it seems that the citizens are unruly and unfriendly. Since arriving in the Lightning Country I has witnessed seven robberies, or thefts, one account of attempted murder, and several other such displays of unruly behavior. Of course; being the size it is I did not expect it to orderly and proper, and even so I am continually surprised by the random act of violence’s in the streets and the thefts. However, since I arrived I have become accustom to watching my Ryo wherever I may go. I have also noted that the cities are overall clean; even the people are clean and neat, though as I mentioned in this very entry that they are violent. Seemingly, the Lightning Country is in overall healthy state, as the negative acts are still outweighed by the positives. I have seen children running about and having fun; donations of charity to the few homeless of this place, and the Elderly are treated with proper respect. In all, it seems that so far (outside the few complete idiots; as noted in the original entry) that things are decent here.

Ren finished his drink and set the cup on the plate; it clattered as he let it go onto the plate, and the Akatsuki member smiled happily as he flipped through his notes on the Lightning Country; all writing in beautiful writing scrawled across the pages; every new page was accompanied by a quick, but neat and designed calligraphy letter to adorn each page representing the first letter of each paragraph. The Jounin ninja flipped to the last entry in the journal; written clearly was the time of writing of the last entry, and Ren pulled from a pocket his writing utensil and once more pressed it to the paper;
The hot chocolate here is amazing, I must comend the person who decided to make this delicious liquid as they did…
This was about the eighth such entry in the Journal; small excerpts of Ren’s personal thoughts on the people and the foods, and services, and all of these entries were vague hints as to how the economy and culture of the Lightning Country was progressing. If one was to pay attention to the report Ren was taking completely seriously they would note that everything within the Journal had significance, even if the significance was vague.

Looking to his left he noticed a teenage ninja reaching to Ren’s back pockets and his Ryo Pouch; the Akatsuki member smiled warmly at the short teen (no more then 15 years into life) and grabbed the teen’s wrist in a firm grip, shaking his head slowly, ”I suggest you not do that kid, it might get you hurt…” The teen looked up into Ren’s eyes and noted a clear glimmer of power behind the calm exterior that was Ren’s composure, and withdrew his hand slowly and stably; smiling nervously as he did so; ”I’m a ninja; why do I need to listen to you?” The Jounin sighed and shrugged his shoulders; ”I don’t know? Maybe because I’m a ninja too?” The Teen raised an eyebrow at him but smirked either way and turned around; running down the street and turning a corner while flipping a single coin in his hand. The Jounin Ninja smiled at the sly thief and simply shook his head slowly; he didn't bother going after the teenager, as a single Ryo was of no purpose to Ren. Especially since Ren knew that that teenager would need that single Ryo and would probably store it with other Ryo's much the same in value, probably all stacked into a single jar or special container.

Ren smirked again and looked down at the open Journal on his lap, lifting it up once again;
The children seem more level headed then the adults; I definitely have no fear of leaving the Lightning Country to its young; though those currently in power now might be able to do more to relieve some people’s burdens on living conditions…

Ren closed the Journal slowly, and pressed the covers into each other; pressing the pages into each other so each page could not be distinguished from one another, and put the journal in its proper place; a pocket on the inside of his cloak that was hidden carefully from view with a small amount of chakra that was weaved into the cloak. Looking at the pen in his hand he smiled and placed it in his pocket; remembering something special:
I met a nice older couple somewhere in the south end of Lightning Country; quite near a closed farmhouse beside a small lake, and they invited me into their home. I spent almost ten minutes in their house eating a delicious bowl of ramen while they showed me their life’s work. Seven Pens that looked much like the Seven Swords of the Seven Swordsmen. Their production of these pens had amazed me; they had to have seen each of those swords and commited them to memory to produce such beautiful working pens in their design. While I looked at these beautiful pens they told me to choose one; and I had realized instantly that they were offering me one of the seven pieces of their life’s work. I had smiled bigger then I can remember and had accepted their offer gratefully; as I was unsure on whether or not it would insult them. When I picked up the pen it had the appearance of a blade wrapped in cloth; and at my touch it had sprayed a small bit of water that swirled into a beautiful water portrait of water shark, before going back into the pen. The Elderly couple had smiled had me and my naïve amazement and simply explained a short bit about the pen; “There is a small amount of chakra in each of these pens, and each one does something like the sword themselves. The one you chose is the Shark Fin Sword Sawahada; the fabled blade has an affinity with water. So we made that one make small sharks; another small bonus is it doesn’t run out of ink so long as you fill the chamber with water.” Upon leaving their warm house and continued my observation I noticed quickly that the pen was more then beautiful; it was perfect in all detail, and the chamber they had spoken about was opened by moving the hilt away from the blade until a click could be heard, from there you could see where the water went.

The Akatsuki Member stood from his place and put his hands in his pockets; looking left; noting three children playing in the street while their parents watched happily, and then right; seeing a group of ten girls gathered around a stand of magazines squeeling happily, and Ren began to walk down the relatively busy street; where a small Ramen Shop the Jounin had visited was located, and remained in his memories forever.

Two hours after his break for food the Jounin Ninja was walking through a more ruddy part of the Lightning Country; the particular alleyway he was walking through had a few Kunai dug into the walls to form images of different things. Looking at his feet moving to an unknown beet Ren began to tap his hand against the metal; causing a secondary beat. At the same time young Ninja were running across the rooftops in tandem with Ren’s designed tune, and added to it nicely. As he walked the Ninja bobbed his head slightly to the beat and smiled before stopping himself and shaking his head; though his smile did not weaken.

Scuffling could be heard ahead of Ren as he walked and he raised his head slowly to look at the culprit; who seemingly was on her knee’s with tears streaming down her face as she crawled towards Ren’s ankles and grasped at them. The Ninja instantly reached down and helped the female to her feet; tears were still streaming down her face as she buried her face into his cloak and shoulder- sobbing softly into him she leaned back and looked into his eyes: ”He’s trying to kill me… Or maybe something more… Get him away from me!”

Over her head Ren glared into the darkness; his eyes shifting into their shining golden colour and illuminating the night slightly to him. Ren felt something coming around the corner; a loud thumping could be heard- much akin to that of boots stomping against dirt as a disheveled male emerged from around the corner. The male’s clothes were tattered and worn; as if he had just woken up from ten year sleep the male’s hair was messy and unruly, though it was deep brown in colour- representing plain youth. The male rasped something in a drunken slur before smiling lopsidedly, and repeated himself; this time clearer, ”Give her to me… Young one… You have little…Use of her… I can….use… her…”

Ren’s face darkened as his smile turned upside down into an angry frown; ”I shall never give someone to fate’s worse then death; and I most certainly would never hand this poor girl over to someone in your…State of mind…” The drunken male smiled again and slide sideways on his feet into the alley proper, ”Then I shall remove her from your grasp, Lithling…” This peeked Ren’s attention, Lithling was not a common term among citizens, or those low in mind capabilities. The drunken male rose to stand fully; at almost 6’4”, and smirked at Ren- taking a fighting position Ren noticed almost instantly; Drunken Style…

Taking the girl in his arms he turned her with him and sent her down the alley; back into the town. She looked back at Ren as she ran from the alley; but continued to run anyways; it seemed to her protector that she was running away not from the Drunken Male, but rather her very protector; Ren. The Akatsuki member stood fully himself and smirked at the Drunken Style user before him, and took his own fighting stance of Buddha Bomb. The Male drooled slightly and rose his hand to wipe the silver thread of spittle from his mouth, and it was at this time Ren chose to make his move.

Running forwards he attempted to end the fight quickly and easily with a solar plexus jab, but the male leaned lazily to the right and dodged the jab, and rose up lazily with a strong punch up to Ren’s right side. The Jounin twisted around and used his forearm to bash away the punch and attempted a triple shot; one to the stomach, one to the middle of the chest, and a third to the temple of the Drunken Male. Again, the male lazily leaned to the right and also twisted his body sideways; dodging the jab to his stomach, but Ren was prepared and functioned the rest of his combo to meet the Male’s movement, and the male fell to the ground completely to dodge the attacks and seemed to rise up from the ground without any solid base of body movement to use.

Ren jumped back onto the wall of the alleyway and crouched on the wall in preperation as the Lazily moving male ran helter-skelter at Ren and flipped backwards from the ground in a flip kick to the Ninja’s jaw. The Ninja responded by jumping up and over the male and turning mid-air so he landed neatly behind his opponent and attempting, and landing, five blows to pressure points along the male’s back.

The Drunken Male turned to face Ren and bent to the side; cracking his back, and seemed to ignore the pain from the pressure points as he threw a precise combo of three punches aimed at Ren’s chest and a sweep kick in an attempt to trip up Ren. At this Ren smiled and blocked each punch in succession, one for one the blows hit Ren in the arms as he backed into the wall from the strength of the blows, but the sweep kick did not pass by Ren’s notice as he jumped into the air and dodged the sweep kick smoothly. Coming down to earth already in his fighting position the Akatsuki member’s plan already formulated in his head; Uppercut punch to his stomach to cause him to block, follow with a concussive open-palmed blow to his ears to burst his eardrums and destroy his balance; proceed to dodge blind straight punch by pushing it away with right hand and then use left hand to hit his main Chakra Points to render him unconscious…

The plan executed beautifully; he threw the uppercut punch to the male’s stomach and he blocked with a double forearm block, and Ren pulled his hand back quickly to bash him in the ears; succeeding in this his opponent attempted a blind left hook and Ren didn’t need to change his layout as he blocked it with his right hand and landed all the chakra point attacks; knocking the drunken male unconscious. Smirking Ren stood once more and looked down on the rugged male before spitting next to the unconscious body and removing a kunai from his jacket and plunging it into the males right thigh; I can not let what he was planning go unpunished…

The Jounin left the alleyway adjusting his cloak and his shirt; dusting fake dirt from his pants as he glanced the female and nodded to her once to assure her she was safe from her attacker bothering her ever again with threats of conspicuous desire. Walking for only a few more minutes Renzenku came across another Ramen Shop and ordered a small Ramen filled with extra curry for originality. Removing the Journal once again from his pocket he took out his Sword Pen and began to scrawl in the book once again; on the final fiftieth page of the journal by now;
Never make the assumption that one of the Lightning is weak, they are powerful foes to be reckoned with and never underestimated. I learned this first hand fighting against a drunk man; who managed to be of the style specified to being drunk, and this is amazing in itself as it takes years to master such a style and the rugged male who I was fighting could have been no older then twenty-two. The female I had saved from this male also had a surprisingly large amount of chakra for someone running from a drunk man who himself have slightly lower chakra levels then her… It was weird; let it be known through this Journal Chronicalling my Observations that the male I saved the female from had more pure chakra than the female herself. I believe this to be a side effect of living style; while he was a drunk; she was probably a ninja who kills frequently… I will have to write it off as thus, for any other way I look upon my observation in this scenario leads the wrong way… Either way, through this Journal I intend to easily get across how the Lightning Country works, looks, and the people within… Anyone can misinterpret a situation, and through knowledge of this experience I feel to report back to you, the reader, to never react to a situation unless you are one hundred percent certain of your decision being right; at the very least for the really big decisions try and do this…

The Akatsuki Member signed the final line of the final page beautifully with his name and closed the leather covered Journal, sighing as he slurped up the final noodles in his Ramen bowl, and stood. Glancing momentarily at the bowl of ramen before tossing some Ryo into the bowl; it clinked against the bowl as it slithered down the sides spinning ‘round the bowl’s edges. The Jounin noted the lump that the book was forming in his cloak and realized that it was quite comfortable in its position and sighed; he wished ever so much that he could do what he had done today again in the other countries. The golden eyed male began his long trek back to his cousin and the Raikage’s Office where he would be so he could return the copy of his observations and report; wishing to keep the bound and beautiful journal to his own self for sentimental value.

Within his trek he noted several times that he could very well do this for a year or so; simply roam the world and observe and report about each and every single last place in the Ninja World, and this caused the Jounin level Ninja to smile as he patted his cloak where the Journal was and reach into his cloak to pick the pen from the pocket that it was hidden within; looking at the pen with pride and remembering what happened with the elderly couple and their hospitality; happily watching as a single line of water dripped from the nub of the pen, glinting in the afternoon sun as it slipped beneath the horizon; painting the blue sky red hues of pink, orange, and red.

Ren looked silently at the beautiful painting before him and consciously activated the water shark from within the pen; using his own chakra to keep the shark floating around in the air lazily flicking its tail from side to side and moving through the air near the pen that the Jounin was holding at waist height. The Afternoon light caught the shark at one point and colored the translucent water a beautiful orange hue; causing the shark to look truly like the tiger shark it was for only a moment before Ren released his hold of chakra and the water slipped back into the pen lazily.

The Akatsuki member glanced down at the pen and a faint smile adorned his features for a moment as he silently thanked the elderly couple once more and looked ahead of himself into the distance; noting poetically that he would be there shortly- the future can only evade a being for so long before it is trapped in a corner and must forfeit its hold on mystery and curiosity to the founder of such a gem that is the Future.

Back in the alley, where the Akatsuki member had knocked the drunken male unconscious, the young female the drunk had threatened to rape had removed the kunai from the bleeding wound in the male’s thigh; blood beginning to flow freely from the wound, and was raising the kunai above her head in a poised position to strike. No one could see the event occur beyond the darkness of the alley as the kunai plunged into the heart of the poor male who had been misunderstood; the poor man whose very life blood was pouring onto the ground in seeping amounts; staining the ground a darker black then the even the shadows; as the girl cackled happily and walked deeper into the pitch darkness of the wrong path; her hands dripping fresh metallic blood. The male; who had just wanted his wallet back, the drunken male who had forfeited consciousness for his wallet; and in turn, his life.

MP: 110
Renzenku's Profile

The sudden plunge on the sullen swell, ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.
Post Count : 1404

Re: Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

on July 9th 2010, 12:50 am
I know it's really long; but no responce at all? T.T

MP: 110
Renzenku's Profile

The sudden plunge on the sullen swell, ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.
Post Count : 51

Re: Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

on July 9th 2010, 6:43 pm

(Not really)

I liked it.

[17:19:54] Prince : Yeahhh, but I didn't get my guns approved yet
[17:21:07] @ Grayve Knightwalker : Thank god :__:
Post Count : 1404

Re: Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

on July 9th 2010, 8:47 pm
That's one abbreviation I don't know what it means >.< TL;DR; noooo idea

MP: 110
Renzenku's Profile

The sudden plunge on the sullen swell, ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.
Post Count : 10136

Re: Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

on July 9th 2010, 9:08 pm

That means Too Long; Didn't Read.



In this cold reality,
I made this selfish war machine.
Post Count : 6411

Re: Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

on July 10th 2010, 5:24 am
Keep up the good work. ^^

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Re: Naruto RP: The Lightning Country Observations

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