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what i've been up to lately Empty what i've been up to lately

Post by Shirou on April 15th 2010, 8:50 pm

okay, so i started to write a sorta-kinda-fanfiction of kingdom hearts, except none of the characters from the game make an appearance. it's only set in the world of kingdom hearts. lame? weird? stupid? awesome? whatever? it's called "the journal of aer: denkiteki". i'm posting it for two reasons: 1. because i sorta want some criticism and 2. this is an excuse as to why i haven't posted anything today. oh, and if you find anything repetitive, it's because i rearranged the first chapter. anyways, here it is:

~Prologue~
Hi, my name is Aer Akuen Raikou. I'm a fifteen year old ex-average teenager. Now, you may be wondering: how can I be an EX- average teenager? Well that's simple, really. Something that can make you not average anymore is a magical key – sword hybrid weapon. Sounds fun, right? Wrong.

While yes, having a magical key-sword hybrid, which is dubbed Keyblade (I'm working on renaming it), may sound cool at first, there are repercussions. An example is the fact that there are these creatures that said Keyblade wielder has to defeat. They are called the Heartless and Nobodies. The heartless are creatures created from the darkness found in a person's heart. Their goal is to get as many hearts as possible, turning countless innocent people into heartless. Nobodies are the shell of a person who fell to darkness and became a heartless. A nobody has no emotions what so ever. They are also made up of nothing. They were never supposed to exist. They still shouldn't exist.

The stronger the heart, the stronger the nobody and the heartless. Crazy, right?

Another repercussion is the fact that who ever wields the Keyblade has to travel from world to world, protecting the 'heart' of these worlds from the heartless. And these heartless are in great numbers and in various shapes and sizes. Some get immensely huge. Huge as in I-almost-wet-my-pants-when-I-see-one huge.

There are also two organizations, each made up with these things. One's called the Organization of the Forgotten, composed of nine humanoid heartless. The other one is called the Forever Organization, composed of fifteen humanoid nobodies. Now, a humanoid heartless / nobody is a rare thing to happen. They actually have minds of their own, while the lesser nobodies / heartless are mindless, and they are quite clever also. And, they are extremely powerful. Having twenty four in total is a very big problem, which I will probably have to solve, whether I like it or not.

Now you should know everything about my predicament. You know that I'm a hero of the Keyblade, I have to battle a lot of creatures made of darkness and nothingness. What you don't know is who I am. You also don't know how I shouldn't be able to wield a Keyblade.

The Keyblade picks somebody who is pure of heart, and that's somebody with a lot of light in their heart. The thing is, my heart is filled with Darkness. I haven't exactly fallen into the darkness, in fact I control it. Basically, my Darkness is equivalent to the Light of one's heart. And the Keyblade picked me, an unstable person who could fall to the Darkness at anytime. The guy behind all of this better know what he's doing, because I sure as hell don't.

You see, the day I got the Keyblade was very odd in itself. The days that followed were probably easier than the previous wielders. I mean, I had almost everything explained to me. All except what I was really supposed to do and how to fight. I suppose I have to learn by experience. Although in this scenario, I may die from said experience.

Now, here's the thing. I want to live my life as average as possible, which means continue my teenage life at my home world while secretly fighting evil creature during my free time. It's really quite stressful, especially with my two companions assigned to me.


~Chapter One~
I walked into the local restaurant, located on my home world, Earth IV. On a side note, I don’t exactly know if there is an Earth I or Earth II, although I’ll probably find out sooner or later. Now, Earth IV is pretty much the same as the Earth you’re familiar with, albeit some minor differences, which might come up later. I was panting ever so slightly. I had just run half way across town.

Let’s flash back half an hour, shall we?

I stood in front of the mirror on my dresser in my bedroom, fixing my hair. By fixing, I mean rubbing wax in my hair and styling it for fifteen minutes. It was totally worth it, because when I was done, my hair was perfect. I had just put the finishing touches on it when my cell phone went off. I pulled off of the dresser top and looked to see who was calling. The small screen read “Princess Pookie X3”. I sighed. I should really stop letting people add their numbers themselves.

As soon as I flipped opened my phone, I was forced to keep it at least two feet away from my ear for a loud, cheery voice blasted out of the speaker. “HEY, AER, GET TO THE CLOCK TOWER ASAP!”

“Uh, first off, why should I, and second off, it’s A-S-A-P, not asap,” I told her, sighing. Pookie had a habit of actually saying acronyms as words. She also had the habit of interrupting me when I was doing, or about to do, something important. Like now.

“BECAUSE ME AND MIDNIGHT SAW ONE OF THEM,” Pookie shouted into her receiver. God help her little phone speaker and her poor grammar.

I should probably explain something right now. The Keyblade wielder is given one or two companions to help him or her with the heartless and whatnot. They protect him or her and assist him or her on his or hers journey.

Pookie and Midnight were…different. They were human, or at least as far as I know, and they have odd personalities. It’s a bit difficult to explain what they’re like, so you’ll find out soon. Anyways, back to the clock tower.

“Uh…one of who,” I asked, not really getting it.

“ONE OF THE FORGOTTEN.”

Shit.

“I’m on my way,” I said, as I walked out of my room, grabbing my jacket. Wonderful.

To sum it up, it was a false alarm. We looked in the clock tower and every where around it. We found nothing and they left me on top of the clock tower with no modes of transportation. When I was searching the tower on last time, they snuck in their ship and zipped on out of here. Great help they are.
Anyways, flash back to the present, skipping the long journey across town.

I looked around the room, searching for someone. Finally, I found her and I grin spread across my face when I did. She saw me too and our eyes met. She had almond green eyes, smooth tan skin and long, wavy black hair. In my fifteen year old mind, she was not only the most beautiful person in the room, but also in the whole world itself and possibly some other worlds, such as Twilight Town and the Land of Dragons.

I walked over to the booth she was sitting at. She was wearing a purple v-neck t-shirt and blue jeans. I was wearing a black t-shirt under an open white stripped dress shirt and white jeans. We both dressed casually, nothing fancy or formal. I mean come on, we were high school students.

I sat down from across from her and said, “Hey Asher, hope I’m not too late.”

Asher giggled slightly and said, “Don’t worry. I just got here also.”

“I’m sure, and that breadstick just ate itself,” I commented, glancing down at her plate, which held a half eaten breadstick.

She blushed. I sighed and apologized. “I’m sorry, I got held up with some friends of mine. They had some homework they needed done and it took me longer than I thought.”

It was partly true, at least. I did have some pesky people bugging me an hour before.

Our date was pretty casual. We ate food, we talked, and we laughed. This may sound cliché and cheesy, but there was a point where we looked into each others eyes in silence. Her deep green eyes were full of such spirit and kindness. I wonder what she saw in my eyes. I’m going to guess she probably saw a disturbed teenager. Oh well. She saw something she liked, or she wouldn’t be here.

The date ended about an hour after it started. I walked Asher home, which wasn’t very far from my house. Only about four blocks away. We shared a slightly awkward hug on her doorstep and she went inside. I didn’t move to kiss her because her parents were watching. I was uncomfortable with just a hug.

As I turned around and started walking down the driveway, something flashed out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to look, all I saw was the darkness of the night. I sighed and pull out my cellular phone, flipped it open and punched in a number. After a few rings, Midnight’s voice answered.

“Aer? What’s wrong?” He asked his voice already tense.

“Yeah, they’re here somewhere. I saw one, but barely. And I could sense them,” I replied grimly. I was walking home, on my guard. My hand twitched, ready to pull out my Keyblade is needed.

“Did they finally find her?”

“I believe so.”

“Dammit.”

Oh yeah, there’s something you should know about Asher. She’s one of the seven Princesses of Hearts. That means, her heart is pure and has not one trace of darkness in it. And now, the big bad heartless organization has found her. Just like before. And I, the wielder of the legendary Keyblade, have to protect her with all my life.

Midnight then told me, "Get ready, because things are about to get Legendary."

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"Hey Shi get back here silly!" Etzolix said running naked and ended up in front of people. "...." "Awkward.."

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[23:27:16] Zihark : I SUSCEDE SHIROU VELOX, YOUR IDEA WAS BETTER

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[1:41:03 AM] "Ansem": I only have
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what i've been up to lately Empty Re: what i've been up to lately

Post by Etzolix on April 15th 2010, 9:17 pm

If you plan to continue this and aren't careful I can see many plot holes coming up, so just always keep self note references on important things you put in each chapter that way you won't mess up on anything drastically huge, because you're giving a lot of info, while still giving nothing at the same time if you get what I mean.

((And if you didn't I mean, You gave a lot of things that play a significant role early on, but have yet to explain them yet which is good and bad. Good for the story that was you keep people interested, and bad for you in case you fuck up and make a huge ass mistake.))

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